You know that feeling when your life is just kind of meandering along? You end up doing things because you think it's what you're supposed to do. You hear yourself saying things like "I just kind of fell into it" or "I wasn't really planning to be here." There's a name for that feeling, and there's a way to start moving in a direction you choose.
The name is drift. I learned it from a podcast I was listening to at the gym, and I paid close attention, because I've been feeling a lot of drift lately.
Psychologists talk about drift as one of the reasons people aren't happy. Their advice is to avoid it and live with more intentionality.
But if you're going to stop drifting, what are you supposed to move toward?
I think the only answer can be your values, What Matters Most to you. So the first job is to figure out what your values are.
A good first step is the Values Compass. It's five quick questions, and it comes from chapter 11 of my new book. It tells you which of four clusters of values you are most likely aligned with: Autonomy, Connection, Resolute, or Stability.
I did it, and I'm 100% Autonomy. That means anything that tries to tell me what to do is a hard no.
Knowing that about myself has been useful. When I feel that reaction start, I can recognize it as my Autonomy cluster at work, and then I can decide what to do about it.
Sometimes the thing in front of me would give me more autonomy. When that happens, I move toward it, on purpose.
Other times it's something I absolutely have to do, and I've been avoiding it. Now I can see why I've been avoiding it. So I acknowledge the pull, tell myself this is something I have to do, take care of it, and then get back to living a more autonomous and intentional life.
If you've been feeling some drift, start with the Values Compass at myvaluescompass.com. Then use your result to decide what to move toward.
Everything gets easier when you know What Matters Most.
My new book walks you through all kinds of ways to identify (and use) your values, and it's available for pre-order now. It's called The Values Map, and I would be very grateful if you pre-ordered a copy. ❤️
